February 2 makes a sad anniversary. It was on that day, 17 years ago that I had to say goodbye to my dad.
We were never very close when I was growing up. I always felt that he was somehow disappointed in my being gay. It wasn’t until the end of his life that I discovered that was never the case. He just didn’t know how to tell me that he was proud of me and he loved me just the way I was. How I wish I could have just five more minutes with him to tell him that he did an amazing job raising me and my siblings.
When Alex and I were in the Netherlands in 2018, we were able to visit the cemetery where Dad’s ashes were laid to rest in the crypt holding his beloved mother and father.
When we were there, I was able to spend a few minutes by myself with my thoughts and so we got to talking. I told him about my life, about Alex and how things were so good with me. I think he would be happy to know that.
2020 has already started off with a bunch of huge changes for me.
Home life is going well. Alex’s health issues are slowly resolving themselves. There will always be health concerns both physical and mental, but Alex is such a resilient man and has found ways to make them all manageable.
Last year, he had cataract surgery on his right eye and the results have been spectacular. Since the procedure, though, he has developed a “floater”. It is not dangerous but, can be quite bothersome. We are meeting with his ophthalmologist to discuss any possible options to get rid of the floater.
We are also in the process of looking for a new doctor. Our last doctor, a wonderful Nurse Practitioner, Leslie Mills decided that the two hour commute to the medical centre we use was just too much. I don’t blame her. To spend 4 hours a day commuting is ridiculous. So, we have been waiting for our medical centre to contact us about a new doctor. Somehow, I suspect that this is going to take a number of phone calls.
Work has been going well. I have finally been able to pull back from a 7 day a week schedule for the last few months. East Side Rerides’ business is slow during the first quarter of the year – sort of makes sense. Not many people are driving their motorcycles during the colder and wetter months. I will probably be heading back to working there a few Sundays a month starting in late February. I hope so. I do so enjoy working there.
Pets First – the pet food supplier that I work for is also not that busy for me at the moment. They have hired new staff and so I suspect that my hours will be cut back even further. I am okay with that. I make decent money there but, I am getting tired and want to actually have some Saturdays to myself.
Work at IRIS is always busy and after another record year in sales, I find myself working to surpass last year’s results. That in itself will be a challenge but, it is one I am up for. I love my time at IRIS.
On the Stage Managing front, I have found the biggest changes. Due to recent events that I won’t go into, I have left the Metro Theatre. I left there very abruptly and that pained me so much. But, I found that circumstances at the theatre made me decide to leave. Word travels quickly in the theatre community in the lower mainland. The very next morning, I had two emails from other theatre companies wanting my services.
So, I have accepted a Stage Managing gig at the Vagabonds Theatre in New Westminster. The play is called Next Fall and I cannot wait to start working on it. A synopsis is below
Luke believes in God. Adam believes in everything else. “Next Fall” portrays the ups and downs of this unlikely couple’s five-year relationship with sharp humor and unflinching honesty. And when an accident changes everything, Adam must turn to Luke’s family and friends for support… and answers. “Next Fall” offers a picture of modern romance, asking questions about commitment, love, and faith.
This production goes from April 2 – 25 with three Sunday matinees. I hope everyone can make it out to see it at the Bernie Legge Theatre in Queens Park, New Westminster.
The other big news is that Alex and I are heading back to Europe in September! This will be another adventure for the two of us. This time around, we are going to try and hit other countries. We will, hopefully have time to visit Belgium, Germany, Denmark, and hopefully France. Itinerary to be worked on.
So, you are now all caught up with what is going on with us. And here is a collage of my two boys just ‘cuz.
2019 was a busy year for Alex and me. Here is recap of the year
January
I started on my fitness goal of walking. Little did I know that it would become an obsession. I started slowly. Walking for 30 minutes in the morning with Phantom and Beau – getting them up and out of the house for their morning constitutional. My legs were screaming after about 20 minutes, but, I persisted. Eventually, I was able to do the distance and give the boys a good round of exercise every morning.
Started rehearsals in earnest for Up & Coming – a British Sex Farce. So much fun working on this show. Great Cast and Crew
Cast of Up and Coming
January was also the last time I would ever see my mom.
Miss her so much
Work was off to good start. Renovations in the office began in earnest. A new office for me was in the offing.
February
My morning walks increased to an hour now. The boys were not too thrilled as they felt it was imperative that they go out, do their business and then make a bee-line for home. That was not the case. Alex had taken it upon himself to reward the boys for every little thing they did so their weight began to balloon. With the morning walks, we managed to get their weight back down to where it was supposed to be.
And Up & Coming Opens. Behold my home for three weeks.
March
March was a tough month. I pulled a hamstring in my left leg and I was in pain for what felt like months – actually, it was months. But, I persisted in continuing my walks. I was slowly losing weight. In January, I weighed 115 kg and by March, I was down to 110 kg. So, that was further motivation to continue the walks.
April
April saw me going to various events – the Vancouver Zoomer Show.
Check out the shoes!!!!
On Monday, April 22, 2019 Mom passed away peacefully in her sleep. Her last months were hard on her. She became more despondent, confused, angry and afraid. We were forced to put her in a psychiatric ward at the facility where she was living. Fortunately, she was in that ward for a very short period of time. I miss her so much. I have a file on my cloud drive with all the letters I wrote her in the last three years of her life. I re-read them every so often and somehow, they give me some comfort.
My sister Anna’s Grave Marker
Mom and Dad’s Grave Marker
May
In May, I traveled to Kamloops for another event. I got to hang out with my fellow IRIS folks and had a blast. I also got to go see Avengers: Endgame. Worth the trip alone to see that film
June
In June, I was able to get a few days off and I headed off to Edmonton to see the Grave Markers for Mom, Dad and Anna. I was also able to meet up with these people who I wrote about in one of my previous posts. These people were my second family growing up in St. Albert.
I was also able to spend a day with Pat and his partner, Barb out at their lake campsite. Great fun.
Dragon Boat Festival!!!
I had the privilege of Stage Managing my 13th Dragon Boat Festival and as usual, it was a blast.
June was also the month that my good friend, Scott married the love of his life, Sarah. It was a great event and Alex and I had a blast hanging out with Scott, Sarah, Shelley and other former coworkers.
Beautiful ceremony for Scott and Sarah
Former Trade Exchange Co-Workers
Such a handsome couple
July
Events galore!
Lots happened in July. First was Canada Day Celebrations on Granville Island. This is an annual gig for me. I have done it for about 8 years now. It is so much fun. Can’t wait to head back there again next summer.
July was also the month that Alex FINALLY got his second cataract surgery.
And now he can see!!!!
My next project was a small play at the Bernie Legge Theatre in New Westminster. Through a good friend, Myles, I was introduced to Alexandra Wilson – Artistic Director for the Page Theatre. , as well as a whole cast. The play was Run for your Wife. One of the best times I have had working on a play and I made a few bucks! Whoop! Whoop!
August
August was another busy month. I wound up working at the Steveston Dragon Boat Festival. Another fund day. But, I wasn’t stage managing. This event I found myself selling beer and wine tickets. I cannot believe how busy I was….
August also brought some additional sadness to our household. Caramel, our gorgeous Lion Head Rabbit suddenly died. I was devastated. I cannot believe how attached I was to this sweet little girl. Alex buried her in our backyard with a nice little grave marker. She will be missed
September
September brought Alex and me back to the East Coast. Alex’s daughter, Ashley was getting married and it was the social event of the season, I presume. Our first stop was in Toronto where we had a 36 hour layover. We had a beautiful hotel room and had a great dinner at a local eatery.
The next day, we spent the day in Toronto. Had way too much fun there. Definitely going to go back there again someday soon.
When we left Toronto and headed for Moncton, we were somewhat relieved to be on our way. Alex was so happy to reunite with Ashley.
The wedding itself was magical. You can see pictures and more information on my site here
After the wedding, we had a great time visiting with Angela and her man, Glen in Halifax.
Enjoying the docks in Halifax
We spent one of our last days driving around Nova Scotia with Angela and Glen.
Lunenberg and the surrounding areas
I wasn’t home for more than three days and I was off again. This time, I was off to Penticton for the Royal Canadian Legion’s annual conference for BC and the Yukon. I had a lovely drive through the mountains to get there.
I scored me one of the best pieces of Swag EVER
The world’s best backscratcher!!!!
Ran into this woman. Heather was my cohort when I was with the Rainy City Gay Men’s Chorus. She became one of my dearest friends at the Chorus. She also stood up for Alex when we got married. I couldn’t think of a better person to do it.
October
October brought me to Edmonton once again to see the family. It was supposed to be my last trip to Edmonton for the foreseeable future, but, I had such a great time visiting with my brothers, sisters in-law and my niece, Kathy that we have decided to try and do a dinner at least a couple of times a year.
November
November has presented me with another play. Once again, i am stage managing a comedy called Always a Bridesmaid. Rehearsals began in earnest and it is going to be a fun show.
On the work front, I am still working for East Side Rerides. Working with one of my favourite people, Elaine.
She pays me to laugh and boy, do we ever!
In November, we celebrated our 16th anniversary. A sumptuous dinner at a local eatery was just what the doctor ordered
I also got to play Santa again for IRIS. I have mellowed a lot in my old age as I rather enjoy being Santa. Even my dogs seem to appreciate my efforts
And that brings us to December. Everything is starting to slow down and Alex and I are going to be having a very quiet Christmas this year. I have some extra time off over the holidays and we will be using it to relax, do some work around the house and just enjoying each other’s company.
Alex has put up with a lot from me this year with my work schedule and I want him to remember that he will always be the most important person in my life.
2020 is looking to be another great year for us. We are planning a return trip to Europe. Our plan is to stay in the Netherlands for a couple of days, then get a couple of Eurail Passes and take the train all the way through France, Spain and wind up in Portugal. Fingers Crossed!
So, today marks the 16th anniversary of the day I said, “I do!” What a whirlwind adventure!
I cannot believe that I have been this lucky to have someone like this man in my corner and in my life. He has always been my staunchest supporter and a source of constant entertainment, anxiety, stress, joy, laughter and tears.
I just realized that I hadn’t posted anything since the end of September. So much for my promise to myself to write more often. *sigh
So, a lot has happened during the last two months – so much that I have forgotten a large chunk of it. But, I do have some things that stick out in my mind:
In early October, I was able to make my way to Edmonton for one more trip. This one was filled with a sense of sadness. I chose to go to see my parents’ and sister’s grave stones. I did not have much input on the design of them, but, I do approve of them wholeheartedly.
During this trip, I was also able to hang out with Kathy and her fur-baby, Remi. We had so much fun wandering the Edmonton River Valley yakking about life in general and just taking in the scenery while Remi gambolled around making friends and trying to do as much as he could in the time he thought he had (we were there for a good couple of hours)
During this brief trip, I was also able to get together with my family. We had a great time and are most likely going to try to do it again in early 2020. Hopefully, I can bring Alex.
Part of my job is to go out and attend networking events, trade shows, health fairs and the like to discuss the IRIS Corporate Eyecare Benefits Program. This week, I was fortunate enough to attend the BC / Alberta / Yukon Convention for the Royal Canadian Legion in Penticton.
It is a very busy weekend for the Legion members as they select a new executive body. In between all the seminars, meetings and functions, there is time for the delegates to peruse the wide array of organizations that help support the Legion. I also got to hang out with one of our amazing IRIS managers, Clara from Vernon. She is definitely a great person to do these events with.
Today, we spent the day with one of my favourite people on the planet: Angela. She is this truly amazing, wonderful person who I love with all my heart. She is brave, funny, fierce, loyal, kind and a truly wonderful soul.
She drove me and Alex all over Halifax to show us her home. It is such a beautiful place here.
Yesterday, Angela and her man, Glen took Alex and me for a drive to Lunenberg and Mahone Bay. What an amazing trip! The scenery is glorious and we thoroughly enjoyed the company.
So, the day started off great. Angela and I went for a long walk around a couple of lakes. Amazing scenery! Great company and a most invigorating walk. I have a goal of 10,000+ steps a day and last week, I didn’t meet that goal.
But, yesterday that changed. 13,623 step! Hooray for me. I have been walking for almost a year now and I have found it life changing. I get up every morning around 5:30 and take Phantom and Beau for an hour and a half walk. I put on over 10,000 steps in that time period. Everything else I add on throughout the day is just gravy!
Anyways, Angela showed me one of her favourite walking trails. I can see why she loves living here.
Al Zylstra 