My latest trip to Edmonton has been a bit of a letdown. Earlier this week, I pulled some muscles in my back, resulting in me missing a day of work and being forced to walk around shaped like a question mark.
I actually considered cancelling my trip but my trips to Edmonton are NEVER about me. They are about my Mom and making sure that I can spend quality time with her.
I arrived in Edmonton last night and made my way out to Fort Saskatchewan where I stay whenever I am in town.
I managed to get into the basement bedroom at my friend’s place without disturbing anyone. Getting ready for bed was a bit of a challenge as my back was starting to seize up again. I didn’t take any painkillers or muscle relaxants prior to getting on the plane as I didn’t want to impair my driving skills when I got to Edmonton.
So, I was definitely not comfortable for the first two hours in bed. I finally managed to fall asleep around 3 am. My sleep was fitful, at best.
I got up around 8 and had a great visit with Pat and Barb. We had a hearty breakfast and great chance to get caught up.
I left the house around 11 and headed off to the nursing home to see Mom. I stopped at a grocery store and bought her some chocolate bars and the bunches of tulips (Mom’s favourites).
I got to the nursing home and made my way to her room. Mom was sound asleep when I got to her room. I tried to wake her but to no avail. She would wake up for 30 seconds and then drift off again. So, rather than continue to try and rouse her, it was decided by the nursing staff and me that I should just go and try again tomorrow.
I left the facility and sat in the car for about 5 minutes. I was, and still am, profoundly sad. I called Alex and we talked for about 5 minutes and he made me feel so much better (Reason 456 of why I love him so).
So, no pics of Mom today. Hopefully, tomorrow.
In the meantime, here is a picture of Barb’s fur baby to tide you over.
So, chances are good that my husband will not see this – for some reason, he doesn’t subscribe to my website (*sigh)
But, this post isn’t for him, but, it is about him.
I have always considered myself one of the luckiest guys on the planet when this man came into my life. He has challenged me at every turn.
His ability to make me feel safe, loved, respected and at ease when everything around me is spinning out of my control speaks volumes about his character.
As he gets ready to celebrate his birthday, I want the whole world to know who Alex is and why I love him and consider myself fortunate to have him in my corner.
So, it has been a few weeks since I posted last. The year end is always kinda busy for me and some things get dropped by the wayside. This blog, apparently, is one of them. But, I am going to try and make up for it with this post.
It has been a tumultuous year for me and Alex. Not necessarily in a bad way, but, it has certainly been a roller coaster of events.
January – 2018
January was the start of a fresh year for us. I had talked to Alex and we agreed that I would TRY and slow down with my work. We were on fairly solid ground, financially speaking and so it was time to slow down a bit. We were still enjoying the post holidays with friends and family.
Pat and his daughter, Marina were here for the first few days of 2019.
Just after they left, our new furniture arrived! We were so happy to get our new sofa, loveseat, chair and various tables.
We haven’t had new furniture in over 13 years and the old stuff was definitely showing it’s age. So, out with the old and in with the new
I was able to go and see my mom in January and that was a great chance to hang with her for a few hours. She was definitely feeling good.
Looking happy to hang with her son.
Mom also managed to find some old pictures. This one stuck out like a sore thumb. *sigh
Apparently, I had a bit of a sweet tooth. Look at that HAIR! I had HAIR!
February 2018
Not too much happened in February, but, I was able to make it out for my Mom’s 91st Birthday. It was definitely a milestone event. I was also able to find a bunch more pictures of my family which I have scanned and saved.
I was staying at Pat’s place and came across this little gem.
My gawd, I had HAIR and no body mass…
April 2018 (March was a bust)
In April, I decided to surprise Alex with a trip to Tofino. We had an amazing time on the West Coast of Vancouver Island
A brief history of the area. One of my favourite places to hang
I made a number of posts about this trip (see Tofino Abound). Suffice to say, that it was a memorable trip and one we hope to repeat in 2019
Alex loving his new Canada Goose jacket in Tofino
I was also able to jet off to see Mom in April
May 2018
May was a quiet month for me. Who am I kidding? I ran around like a chicken with my head cut off. This was the month that Alex was able to get a ton of yard work done. Planting abounds!
June 2018
June brought me back to Edmonton to see Mom and visit with Pat out at his campsite – Wizard Lake.
Wizard Lake is a beautiful campsite just south of Edmonton.
June 2018
DRAGON BOATS ABOUND
June is always a fun month for me. I get to do what I love: Stage Manage
The Canadian International Dragon Boat Festival is a three day event where hundreds of paddlers from across Canada and around the world converge on False Creek for fun, entertainment and some pretty intense competitions. I am fortunate to be able to Stage Manage the Music Festival which takes place at the same time.
July 2018
July is another fairly busy month for me. Canada Day celebrations always see me on Granville Island running the Green Room for the various stilt walkers, performers, face painters, roving musicians. It is always a great way to spend Canada’s birthday
August 2018
August saw me and Alex staying home and doing some much needed work around the house. We repainted the house. It took us 5 1/2 years, but, finally got it looking like I wanted it to.
September – 2018
September saw Alex and I FINALLY making our way to the Netherlands. I have posted numerous stuff about it on this site, so won’t be repeating it here. But, here are a few highlights
October – 2018
October brought me back to Edmonton to see Mom. Mom’s dementia continues to wreak its awful effects on her. She is now in a new extended care facility better suited to her needs. In other words, she is no longer able to do most things. I am grateful, however, that she is in a facility where she is taken care of.
October also saw us biting the bullet and hitting the last room in our house that needed renovating: Our Master Bathroom!
November – 2018
November was a fairly hectic month, too. We finished off the bathroom, we did some more fine tuning of stuff around the house and I got to play Santa for the IRIS Staff Children’s Christmas Party!
November also saw Pat and Barb come out for a weekend visit. We had way too much fun while they were here.
December – 2018
December has proven to be a more relaxing month for me. Work responsibilities have slowed down on all fronts. But, we have added Blue to the Zylstra household.
And that, folks, pretty much wraps up the year. It has been a busy, crazy year filled with entertainment, joy, sadness and so much more.
I can’t wait to see what 2019 brings: 65th anniversary of the assassination of my Paternal Grandfather to be celebrated in May – still hoping we can go.
Ashley, Alex’s daughter is getting married in September and that is going to be quite the event.
So, after the untimely but not unexpected demise of Lucky, our rescue budgie, Tiny, his roommate for the last 4 and a half years, was feeling very lonely.
I promised Alex that we wouldn’t replace Lucky, but, I saw how lonely Tiny was feeling.
So, on to Craiglist. Lo and behold; meet Blue. A little female and Tiny is smitten.
We may have to invest in a nesting box for them…. remains to be seen.
So, after almost 6 years of living in our house, we have FINALLY managed to finish our master bathroom. We ripped out the old shower – a glorified phone booth sized shower that I could only stand and spin in. Washing anything below the waist was an exercise in futility.
The soaker tub was banished to the trash heap as well. The functionality of said tub was about as useful as a blow dryer for me. The tub could only be filled halfway before the hot water tank gave up.
The medicine chest was yarded out, too. It was designed for people to use it who were, I can only surmise, members of the Liliput Guild in the Wizard of Oz.
The walls were covered in both many, many, many layers of ugly wallpaper and paint – Alex tried his best to make the room livable, but, to no avail.
Below are the pictures of what it looked like when we moved in –
I know, right???? EEEK!
And here is the end result of 5 weeks of renovations
The new vanityNew paint and new toilet – it rocks!The walk in shower of my dreams!A new storage area where the shower used to be. Alex did a great job filling it in with practical and functional ideasEven Phantom likes it
After 5 1/2 years of NOT using our ensuite bathroom, the renovations have begun. Alex and our amazing plumber, David tore out the phone booth of a shower.
It took less than two hours to open up the shower, cap off the water and haul the shell away. It looks so much bigger in that space.
Alex ripped out the lighting valance over the vanity and pulled the medicine cabinet down earlier this week. He also managed to remove 7 layers of wallpaper.
This is the mirror that we are putting up instead of the ugly medicine chest.
I am getting very excited.
Last week, we found the new lights, towel bar and toilet paper holder
This is the overhead light. The vanity lights are identical.
Had another whirlwind visit to Edmonton over the weekend.
Mom has been moved to a new facility: Lynnwood Extended Care Facility. It is in the West End of Edmonton near West Edmonton Mall.
A very nice facility, to be sure. Open and airy. Brightly lit with lots of things to see and do for the residents. They have atriums, small shops, cafe, gift shop and a variety of other stimuli including birds and an aquarium!
Before I went to see Mom, I checked out their website and they even had posted a You Tube video
It certainly did a lot to put my mind at ease. Visiting my Mom is always a roller coaster of emotions.
After I got off the plane on Saturday, I drove to the East end of Edmonton and picked up my niece, Kathy. I haven’t seen her in months and it was so great to see her. We drove to see Mom and yakked incessantly all the way there.
When we got the facility, we parked and went up to Mom’s floor. Mom is in a room close to the elevators and is sharing a room with another woman who is also suffering from Dementia.
Mom’s face lit up as soon as she saw me and Kathy. Her day was made!
We stayed for about an hour and a half. When it was time to go, I could see that Mom was starting to get upset. She begged me to take her with us.
My heart was breaking as I calmly explained to her that I couldn’t. As much as I wanted to – this is where she is going to get the best possible care.
So, Kathy and I left – I could hear her in the background crying to the nurses, ” I don’t know where I am supposed to go. Where am I? Why am I here?”
That is the hardest part of this wretched disease. It strips away your sense of self, reducing you to your raw emotions. After everything that my Mom has been through in her life, this was not supposed to be the situation she was currently in.
Kathy and I left quietly and got down to the car. We drove away in silence. Kathy lost her own Mom to cancer three and a half years ago. To see her Grandmother slowly spiralling into this pit of fear is hard on her.
So, I offered to buy lunch. We needed a diversion. So, off to lunch we went. We had a great meal at Brown’s Social House. We ate heartily, laughed at some of our family’s antics and reminisced about the great times we shared.
I drove Kathy home and headed off to Pat’s place in Fort Saskatchewan. Staying with Pat during these visits is a huge relief. He knows exactly what to say and do to make me feel better. Normally, it is just a cup of tea and a hug. Can’t ask for more than that.
Pat’s girlfriend, Barb was there, too. She knows that I struggle with these visits and does everything she can to help me feel better. Pretty awesome person. I am so glad she is in Pat’s life.
We had a very quiet dinner, watched some TV and called it a night around 10. I went down to Pat’s guest room in the basement, crawled into bed and was out like a light. I slept soundly (well, as soundly as I can considering I am such a light sleeper with a tiny bladder).
I got up the next morning at 7:00. Pat was up and making tea. Hooray!
Barb got up shortly after.
We had a leisurely breakfast – bacon, eggs, sausage and potatoes. Can’t ask for a better breakfast than that.
I got cleaned up, packed and headed out around 11:00. I made it to Mom’s place around 11:45. She was overjoyed to see me again. We chatted for a few minutes. I then got on the internet and did a video conference call with Nance and Tjalline – my cousins from Holland.
Mom was ecstatic to be able to speak Dutch again. They yakked for about 10 minutes. I could see that Mom was just so happy.
After we disconnected from the call, Mom and I chatted idly.
It was time to head off again. This time, however, she was more resigned to my leaving. I told her that Alex needed me at home and that I would be back before she knew it.
That seemed to work. She knows how much I love Alex and I need to be able to take care of him. She accepted that.
I made my exit quickly and headed out of the facility. I was at the airport by 2:30. I had a quick lunch and went to wait at my gate. The plane was loaded by 4:15. We were up in the air by 4:30 and I was back in Abbotsford by 5:10 PST.
I got home by 6:15 and was greeted by two very happy puppies and my amazing husband.
A quick bite to eat, a little bit of TV and I was in bed by 10:00.
I have a little time before I need to plan my next visit.
So, after 5 1/2 years of enduring the master bathroom that is completely irrelevant to our needs, it was time. Time to change it.
Alex and I discussed it a couple of years ago and we started looking for new fixtures that would transform the bathroom from a space that I only used to brush my teeth, to one that I could actually use.
A couple of weeks ago, I had to help set up a trade show booth for IRIS at the Vancity Women’s Expo in Cloverdale. I set the booth up fairly quickly and headed out. Something caught my eye.
I saw this at the Bathfitter’s booth. I had no idea that they did bathtub conversions.
I quickly grabbed their brochure and took it home. Over dinner, I showed it to Alex and he was in complete agreement. Our master bathroom had to go!
So, the next day, I called them, made an appointment and set the wheels in motion.
Their rep came over at the appointed date and time. He did the measurements, showed us our options and came up with a quote. To say that I gasped, is an understatement. But, the price included doing EVERYTHING.
Alex and I are in a financial position that allows us to take on a small debt. Well, not that small, but, definitely affordable on our combined incomes.
So, we agreed, signed the contract and away we went.
They called back yesterday and are going to be doing the conversion on October 31 and November 1. Hooray!
To say that I am excited just doesn’t even begin to cover the emotions. This is one of the last things we need to do to our house to make the renovations complete. To have a master bathroom that I can use is going to be such a treat.
Today is a sad day in our household. Lucky, our rescued budgie has passed on.
We never knew how old he was but, we had the joy of having him our in our lives for 5 1/2 years.
Nykie, our previous furry family member, found him in our backyard on a cold, blustery day in March 2013.
He was soaking wet, shivering and in shock when Nykie brought him to Alex. Alex yelled for me to come and help.
I brought the little fellow inside, dried him off and put him in a box while we waited to see if he was going to survive.
I had a shower, came out and found him sitting on top of the box waiting patiently for me. I put my finger under his chest and he gratefully hopped up on my finger. I was hooked.
Off to the pet store went and spent almost $100 on a cage and supplies. Once he was safely ensconced in his new home, he dove head first into the food bowl and ate nonstop for almost an hour.
Our family grew that day with Lucky.
A few months after, we adopted Tiny, who was his companion until the very end.
Our home will be quieter now with Lucky’ s passing. We will miss him.
Al Zylstra 